I know, you’re thinking one of two things or both…
Number one would be, best brownies in the world my ass, who does she think she is? Yeah ok I here you, it’s a big statement to make, but you’re just going to have to trust me on this one. You only need to look at the ingredient list below to see these things can hardly taste bad.
Number two is probably, chocolate brownies…wow….ground breaking. Yep, again I understand. It’s kind of like me posting a recipe on how to cook pasta. Everyone knows how to make a brownie right? Well apparently not. The other day I decided to partake in the internet craze of black bean brownies that everyone seemed to be raving about. The recipes vary but basically you’re using mashed black beans instead of flour, lots of cocoa powder, and instead of sugar you can use agave syrup. In the pictures the brownies looked delicious; ok some looked like cardboard but I know sometimes it’s all in the taste. I read the reviews…
“Wow, I didn’t even realise I was eating a “healthy brownie” it tasted that good!!!!”
“This recipe is now my go to whenever I need a chocolate fix without the calories, delicious! You must makes these!!!”
Ooooh, I thought, they must be good, plus I won’t have to feel bad at eating one or two of these things in one go. So, I searched for the best recipe and I chose the one where the picture of the brownies looked the most delectable and off I went. Well, please let me be the one to inform you that black bean brownies taste. like. cack. Seriously I felt so let down, anyone who tells you these things taste good are lying to you! They taste bearable at that. I can only imagine this is how a man must feel when he see’s a woman with a great rack only to discover once they take it to the bedroom she whips out a couple of chicken fillets from her bra and then the truth is revealed, it was all an illusion, false advertising. Small breasts are just as attractive as large ones so why lie? How I started to talk about breasts on a brownie post I will never know. Anyway I was so miffed I had to obviously make real brownies, the more calorific the better……..
I write this title only because I came across a guest post written on one of my favourite websites/blogs by a writer who’d decided to vacate into her own rectum. Her blurb wrote something along the lines of, “Alongside blogging I am a published writer, I am not just a blogger.” I took abit of an offence to that, she may as well have written, “Oh bless you all with your little blogs, but I do this sh*t properly!” To me her statement told me more about herself and her own insecurities than her entire article ever would. I’ve seen other bloggers write similar condescending statements too such as, “I’m a professional blogger and I take what I do seriously.” No kidding love, you take yourself so seriously that I’m now bored and I’m currently leaving your website, bye!
But this all got me thinking, what constitutes anyone nowadays, with the freedom of the world wide web, to say someone can’t be anything other than what they choose to be, and since when did the “Blogging Police” become so PC as to establish what grounds grant you an authentic and legitimate blogger?
Ok, so first of all my phot0graphy skills don’t do this little gem of a treat any justice. The combination of jalapeno peppers, cream cheese and bacon is truly orgasmic! I’m not kidding you, I can pretty much guarantee that unless you’re either a vegetarian, lactose intolerent, or just a weirdo there is no way on this earth that you will not like this treat. Infact, I’d put money on it that you’d ask me for more once I’d served you a plate of these things, and without realising you demolished the lot in a beatific and mystical haze of exhilaration- I write all types of sh*t at times I know.
Anyway I now feel as though my assigned mission in life is to tell anyone who may not have come across this recipe before and wondered through life aimlessly with that gnawing feeling that something was missing.
THIS is what was missing from your life, THIS! Recipe after the jump!
Winter always screws with my emotions, not to mention my skin tone; yep us mixed chicks get pasty, pasty come winter time. I don’t know about you but as soon as the cold and dark winter months hit in, all I want to do is eat something hearty, curl up on the sofa, poooooossibly include some alcohol, (always include alcohol) and just lay there, like a stick of broccoli staring gormlessly into the distance whilst I watch trashy TV. Oh wow I sound attractive, but I’m ill, forgive me! Right now I would happily hibernate on my sofa until the summer. I’m not a winter girl, the whole, “oh wow look at the snow isn’t it pretty!!” That’s not me, God no, I’m more of a, “oh wow look at this beach and look at my sun lounger isn’t it fetch!!” Yep, more me.
Lasagne, cottage pie, stew chicken, stew anything thats Bexy come winter time, I’m really not that hard to figure out. Yesterday I went with beef stew served with mashed potato, seriously mashed potato and I need to get a room because I cannot control myself when I’m around it. It’s just so soft, so thick, so creamy, so sexual?